Hello America!

My name is Eliza Mayhem and you must never, ever forget my name for I am very special and unique. When Rose ignores me or gets busy with other projects, I make sure she remembers that I am still here and needing her by doing something to get her attention immediately back on ME!

If she is talking on the telephone, I chew the telephone cord. If she is cooking potatoes for John, then I reach up and scatter the peelings all around on the floor so she will have to talk to me too. When she goes to bed so do I, and my bed is her bed, and her pillow is my pillow. She thought she had it all solved with the water pistol, but I took care of that and now she can't find it because not only did I hide the pistol, I hid her glasses!

And it does not matter in the least what words she says to me just as long as she says them sweetly and softly; after all, I do not understand any of those strange-sounding English words at any time because I am IRISH!

Some people say I am neurotic, I say with pride I am perfect, absolutely perfect just the way I am. If I ever, well how does one say it, step over the line, it's because that fancy cockatiel Buzzard in his cage over there drove me to do it with all his yack-yacking at us in that foreign bird-talk language of his and Rose was standing right there talking back to him all about it! And well, the way I figure it, if making noise is what it takes to get Rose's attention, then I must do the same thing only better, bigger, louder, stronger.

"Woof! Time for my lunch Rose! Where's my freshly prepared helping of organic chicken and rice? Woof!!" In other words and I hope you are beginning to understand ~

I rule this peaceable kingdom here at Templeton,
and I am going to the Sport Horse Nationals!

So please come visit us at the barn of The Nicki McGinnis Training Center and say "Hello" to Bleu Knight Foxy and don't forget to bring a sandwich for me ~ Ham and Swiss on Rye with Kosher Dill Pickle on the side is preferred please!

Signed: Eliza (AKA Ellie Mae)
(09/01/04)